The Modern Loss Handbook: An Interactive Guide to Moving Through Grief and Building Your Resilience

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What I finally realized was this: As completely unfair as it felt, absorbing my grief, figuring it out, and living with it were my responsibilities. Nobody else could do it for me,” states the author up-front, while promising to offer “no toxic positivity or suggestions that you find gratitude in everything.” Everyone will eventually experience the loss of someone meaningful, and the idea that they’re expected to “move on” because “it’s time,” isn’t realistic. What is? Talking about the stuff that society shies away from in public conversation and holding an ongoing space for our losses – because relationships don’t end when someone dies, and our own lives hold enormous potential for significance after a loss. Modern Loss is all about eradicating the stigma and awkwardness around grief while also focusing on our capacity for resilience and finding meaning. In this interactive guide, Modern Loss cofounder Rebecca Soffer offers candid, practical, and witty advice for confronting a future without your person, honoring their memory, dealing with trigger days, managing your professional life, and navigating new and existing relationships. You’ll find no worn-out platitudes or empty assurances here. With prompts, creative projects, innovative rituals, therapeutic-based exercises, and more, this is the place to explore the messy, long arc of loss on your own timeline—and without judgment.

She had practical advice gained from personal experience and the stories of others. This book is filled with insights, practical and wise reflections on life, loss and people. It is written in a wonderful accessible style and even with humor. (yes humor... because that is a part of life and the pain of loss). Humor is so important to me. You don’t always have the choice, but sometimes you get to ask, “Am I gonna laugh about this? Or am I gonna lose it?” Of course, sometimes it’s both, but you definitely deserve to laugh if you want to and if it feels good. That what comedy is—laughing at the ridiculous aspects of life. Why wouldn’t grief be included in that? It’s part of life. It’s messy. You can’t just sit and rend your clothes for however long you’re going to be on Earth. You deserve to remind yourself that you’re human, that you can laugh and feel some levity.Modern Loss is a place to share the unspeakably taboo, unbelievably hilarious, and unexpectedly beautiful terrain of navigating your life after a death. Beginners welcome. She recognizes that one size does not fit all. Everyone mourns in unique ways. This is a handbook of many tools and perspectives on the process. The book has highlighted in blue important points Rebecca wants all to remember on our grief journey. One highlighted portion that has really stayed with me is that even though your person has died, you continue to be in a relationship with them and through loss the relationship changes but is never taken away.

I thought it was so good and so useful, I bought two other copies. One for her mother and another for a friend who had lost her husband. Rebecca has done a wonderful job making all feel welcome in using this book. She states to use this book in whatever manner that suits you and come and go in this book as needed. At the time, she had just earned her graduate degree and was working as a producer for "The Colbert Report" television show. "I was building and losing at the same time and it felt like this very tenuous space to live in," she recalled. Part of life is death and we will at some time in our lives loose those people we hold dear. This book is a rich combination of workbook, personal insights, and ideas to help navigate the grief.Now, more than ever, grief is likely to be suppressed, protracted, or complicated because of the social, professional, and personal demands the pandemic has made of all of us. Some people can’t even begin to actively grieve for more than a year because of work, childcare, or their own health issues.These delays and complications disproportionately affect communities of color. In this respect, grief is a social justice issue. Especially when you are feeling no one is saying anything really helpful even though they are trying.

As we struggle to emerge from the first global pandemic since 1918 – one that has killed nearly one million Americans and launched a grief pandemic that will surely be felt for generations – now is the time to give people more time to grieve, not less. Now is the time for us to forge communities of support and profound connection. Now is the time to let go of the cultural message to “overcome” an emotional experience that impacts body, mind, and spirit and come together instead. Can you imagine?” For a while, we had a pretty good excuse not to: We set off on this terrible adventure under an Administration that tried to convince us that we should not be afraid of this new virus, nor should we let it “dominate” our lives . The government tried to disconnect us from reality when reality was disconnecting us from the humans with whom we used to spend our days: co-workers, relatives, neighbors, the shop owner on the corner. For so long, we were physically separated from one another, trying to deal with our own “new normals,” which likely involved the addition of too many roles and the subtraction of others . Aside from glimpses on screens, we didn’t see the insides of other people’s homes. And so we didn’t see the people who inhabit those homes going through the motions of daily life after a loved one’s death. The truth is, it’s not that we can’t imagine the experience. It’s that we don’t want to. In saying that the deep loss someone is feeling is too unbearable to picture, what we’re really doing is drawing a line: not mine, not ours, only yours. Perhaps we think we might prevent this pain, this chaos, this fear and uncertainty, from reaching our own lives. But if this global pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that grief doesn’t work that way. Grief belongs or will belong to everybody , if not today then someday.This book offers direct, practical, and funny advice on how you can live a life without your special person. The author talks about how to honor their memory, deal with triggers, and manage your career and relationships. The author shares everything she learned from her own experience with grief and from the experts she worked with across the spectrum of wellness and therapy, mental health, suffering, the arc of loss, and the incredible members of the Modern Loss community. The handbook also includes prompts, projects, exercises, and different ways that will help people deal with loss on their own timeline and without judgment. Jennifer Richleris a freelance journalist living in Bloomington, Indiana. She writes about a range of topics, from grief and loss to Israeli culture to autism. You can find her at jrichler.wix.com/jrichler. This is one of the best grief resources for mental health, helpful and funny. This book is meant to help us stay connected to our people, stay connected to ourselves, and stay connected to the world around us even in grief. I think the "handbook" title doesn't really define the book. Even though it is a handbook and workbook you can use, it is also a deep and personal guide that provides a box of tools we can use in different situations of grief. Relief came from finding camaraderie in others who had also experienced loss. She joined a support group in Manhattan for families of homicide victims and became involved with a national nonprofit dedicated to supporting family and friends of those who have died by violence. She keeps it real, she uses real language, and I love that this book does not encourage a Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow attitude.